Trust Me
by TheQueen117
Summary: Love is a beautiful thing. But it is frail. Anything can upset it, warp it, break it. It takes careful delicate handling to keep it from falling to dust.
1. Chapter 1

**Trust Me**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish.

Barbra Smith

* * *

Thorin moved out on a Saturday around 12pm.

It had been raining, which was no surprise, but it had been oddly cold for a May shower. The only reason Dwalin remembered was because he hadn't been able to go inside and watch Thorin neatly fold and pack his things in the new suit case he'd bought for that specific purpose.

It would have made everything far too real.

So instead he'd sat outside on the concrete steps leading too their apartment building, butt numb and body soaked from the rain as he lit his fourth cigarette of the evening.

Thorin had always hated it when he smoked, said the smell made him nauseous, but Thorin was leaving.

He'd lost his say.

...

The trouble started when he moved in.

Well…Dwalin had to admit that wasn't very fair no matter how much he hated him.

They'd never been the perfect couple, not really. Did they love each other? Yes. Dwalin adored Thorin. He always had.

Since the first day they'd met in Seventh grade, Dwalin knew there was something special about Thorin Durinson. There was an air about him, the kind of aura that drew you to him. It was the kind of aura you'd get from the heroes in the old stories his father would tell him before tucking him into bed even though he was 12 years-old and too old for bedtime stories. From his thick black hair tied in a ponytail, long even then, to his long elegant fingers and perfectly trimmed nails - his mother called them artist hands - you knew he was destined for something special. And while Dwalin hadn't known it at the time, it had been love at first sight,

It had taken five years and some crafty meddling from their friends to get Dwalin to finally confess his love to Thorin during their Junior prom.

That kiss would forever be one of Dwalin's favorite memories.

And while they loved each other, they'd still fought. Thorin was one of the most stubborn people he knew. When he set his mind to something, not even death could persuade him to change courses. It was one of the things Dwalin admired about Thorin. But it was also the cause of most of their fights because Dwalin was no pushover and he'd always made it a point to fight for what he wanted. Compromise was a slow process for the two of them.

But in the end, they'd always managed to make up - which had led to some spectacular sex - and move on.

Or at least they had.

And the funniest thing was that Dwalin would have probably ended up considering him one of his closest friends if things had worked out differently.

...

Dwalin found out they had a new neighbor when he'd quite literally bumped into him in the hallway.

"I'm so, so terribly sorry," he'd cried as he attempted to help Dwalin pick up the groceries and books that had fallen in their collision. "I swear, I always do this. I'm so clumsy and I never look where I'm going. My friends are always telling me that I ought to look where I'm going 'cause I'd take a tumble down the stairs one of these days and now look at me! I've gone and made a terrible..."

Dwalin silenced him with a firm pat on the shoulder and tried not to chuckle when the poor thing winced. He hadn't gripped him that hard!

But yet again, the man was a small thing, shorter than even Thorin with a head of thick brown curls and freckles. He was a bit on the plump side, as well, but that was all right. Rarely was anyone as fit or as large as himself. In fact, Dwalin would even go as far as to say he was a bit cute looking...like one of those small woodland creatures he'd spy when Thorin and he visited Thorin's ancestral home in the country.

"Name's Dwalin," he introduced himself, "And its all right. Nothing broken. Nothing split." Though that was a lie. The eggs were probably ruined.

"Bilbo Baggins," he replied, calmer though still flushed in embarrassment, "And I feel horrible about this. At least...at least let me help you put these things away and pay for anything that was broken."

Dwalin grinned. Who was he to turn down free labor?

...

Thorin had been home that day, which was rare. He usually didn't get home until around 6 or 7pm on weekdays.

Dwalin had warned Thorin he was taking on too much, but he hadn't listened. On top of the four college classes he'd signed up for that semester, he'd taken an unpaid internship that required his presence from 3pm to 5pm at least three times a week, plus a paid job at the coffee shop around the corner, plus community service work working on a drafting a new park for the city. It wasn't strange that he was exhausted all the time.

But that day had been a rare day off. His teacher had canceled and he had already been to the office three times that week and he was this close to finishing the draft and he didn't have a shift at the shop. So Thorin had spent the whole day in bed, which Dwalin wasn't one to complain about. He was only human after all.

But at around 1 pm, Dwalin had had to admit that it was time to rise and had decided to head to the store when Thorin had whined about the lack of eggs for breakfast. Which had lead to Dwalin bumping into his poor new neighbor in the hallway.

They were a quarter of the way through the five bags of groceries that Dwalin had managed to lug up the three flights of stairs to their apartment when Thorin finally entered their kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of low-hanging pajama bottoms. Dwalin couldn't help but puff up a bit in pride when he noticed Bilbo trying not to stare at his lover's - and what a stupid name for what they were even though it was the only one that really fit - ass.

"I didn't know we had company," Thorin greeted as he grabbed the box of cereal Dwalin had just placed in the pantry.

"Thought you wanted eggs," Dwalin asked as he threw away said eggs - broken just as he'd expected - in a way he hoped Bilbo didn't notice, The stubborn idiot, didn't he understand that Dwalin didn't want his money.

Thorin hummed in agreement as he struggled to open the plastic bag that held the cereal. Pretending to scowl, Dwalin took the box, ignoring the whine of protest, and efficiently opened the package, "Idiot," he grinned fondly as he passed the box back.

Thorin muttered a soft thank you through a handful of cereal he'd just stuffed into his mouth. Grabbing another handful to munch on, he turned to search the cabinets for a bowl. Not for the first time, Dwalin made a note to organize the cabinets into some form of order.

"Bilbo," their neighbor suddenly piped up from where he'd been standing holding a carton of milk.

Thorin paused as he brought the bowl down to look Bilbo up and down before focusing on the milk carton in his the remaining cereal in his hand into the bowl, he reached over to pluck the milk from Bilbo's hand and smiled, "Thorin."

"I…I'm the n-new neighbor," Bilbo blushed.

Dwalin bit his lips to keep from laughing as he watched Thorin preen under the attention from their neighbor, the bloody peacock.

"Well, welcome to the neighborhood," Thorin gave another flirtatious smile and a coy look from under his eye lashes before turning so that his back was to Bilbo and winked at Dwalin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Trust Me**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Albert Camus

* * *

After that, Bilbo quickly becomes a frequent visitor in their lives.

It wouldn't be rare for Dwalin to return home from his evening shift at the Governor's office to find Bilbo and Thorin bent over the kitchen counter talking about one of Thorin's designs-and Dwalin wished Thorin wasn't so practical that he would at least try to get his art seen-or one of Bilbo's poems-because of course the Bilbo would be a writer with his frumpy cardigans and rather large glasses. Once Dwalin had returned home with the shopping at 9 am on a Saturday to see Bilbo eating his cereal and hadn't batted an eyelash, that was how easily Bilbo had slid into their lives.

And surprisingly, Dwalin did not mind...much.

Bilbo was a good guy, funny and a bit on the poetic side, but overall a guy you wouldn't mind heading out for a drink. He was like a looser version of Dwalin's own rather stuffy, academic brother, Balin. And sure, Bilbo was more Thorin's friends than his but that didn't mean Dwalin couldn't hold a decent conversations with a guy. If nothing else, working in the governor's office had taught Dwalin to pay attention to politics, and politics was always an interesting discussion.

In fact, the only thing keeping Dwalin from being Bilbo's friend was the way Bilbo had no shame when it concerned his lover's ass.

Dwalin didn't consider himself one of those possessive types. Certainly, he was prone to fits of jealousy, but who wouldn't be with someone like Thorin as their lover, who was known for drawing eyes where they had no right looking. But they were always short lived and never expressed where Thorin may hear (he made that mistake once, nice way to meet the half-brother, Frerin). He knew who Thorin came home to at night and as such knew how irrational he was at times.

But this…this wasn't jealousy. This was annoyance.

Certainly, at first he found it cute, ego stroking even. After all, it wasn't like he didn't have eyes. He knew what he looked like. He was a bit large and brutish looking. And most of the time, he didn't mind. It certainly gave him one up at times. Didn't mean it didn't sting when people refused to believe he was a PoliSci Major and had never played football in his life, but that's how life was. And he didn't regret his tattoos.

If life was anything like the movies, there was no way that someone like Thorin would have ended up with someone like Dwalin.

So it was a bit nice, seeing someone lust over Thorin and know he had chosen Dwalin above all others.

But then the touching had started. At first it was innocent, but then he kept touching in places that bordered friendly for lengths of time that made Dwalin distinctively uncomfortable.

And at first he'd tried to convince himself it was nothing, that it was him being irrational, but then even Thorin had begun to shy away from his touches.

He had taken to going to the gym after work to work out some of his frustration so to make sure he didn't do something he'd regret like break his neighbor's hand. For he knew he couldn't do anything. The one time he'd brought it up to Thorin, he'd brushed it off chalking it up to a simple crush.

"He doesn't know anyone, Dwalin," Thorin insisted with a smile as he cracked two eggs for the cake-it was Dis' birthday and they wanted to surprise her with a homemade cake- "So he's gone and developed a bit of a crush on the only friend he's made so far. It'll go away soon."

Dwalin grumbled in agreement.

"Nothing to worry about," Thorin grinned as he leaned forward to peck at Dwalin's lips, "He'll get over it."

...

In retrospect, Dwalin can admit that he didn't keep as cool a head as he could have. That he got made. That he acted rash. That he acted cruel. But he wasn't the only one.

Thorin hadn't tried. He'd just...he'd disappeared long before he left. And all Dwalin had left was the nagging fear that maybe Thorin had never loved him.

...

Three weeks later, Thorin comes home two hours early and just collapses on the sofa in a fit of sighs.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Dwalin asks setting down his papers and going over to kneel by Thorin's head.

"Mmmmhmmmm."

"School?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Friends?"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Work?"

There was a pause. "Ummhmm."

"Your bossing picking on you, again?" Dwalin asks, running his hand through Thorin's mane.

Finally, Thorin looked up. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" Dwalin asks and tries to keep the panic out of his voice. That was a rather vague statement. And he did not like it. He did not like it at all.

"Work," Thorin shrugs, sitting up so Dwalin can take a seat next to him and hug him properly. "School. Projects and stuff." And it was interesting to note that Thorin said "stuff" in the same way one would say "murder."

"So what do you want to do?" Is there anything he can do? He was on contract with the internship and the project was nearly complete. To drop out, he would be setting back the project by months and it was good work experience which is not something Thorin would be forgiving himself for.

"What can I do?" Thorin groaned, shoulders falling as he buried his face in his hands. "I'll just deal with it."

"Okay." Dwalin said, "We'll deal with it. Project is almost over. It's going to be okay."

"Yeah," Thorin nodded, picking his face out of his hands. "Yeah. Almost done. We can do it."

Dwalin should have known better.

...

Two weeks later Thorin loses his job.

"The worst part is part of me is grateful," Thorin says after a moment, "That I don't have to be working there anymore."

"I know," Dwalin said.

"But that's terrible because we need the money." Thorin continued, "We really do. I mean, how am I going to pay off my loan interest this month plus the bills?"

Dwalin doesn't say anything for a moment. "You could always call..."

"No." Thorin cuts him off. "No. I will not."

"Okay then," Dwalin sighs, "I'll just pull extra hours at work until you get a new job. We'll make it work, Thorin."

Thorin just nods.

...

After that, it was Dwalin who is rarely home. His days went from a 12pm-5pm every other days to 12pm-7pm everyday so that when he finally dragged himself home with his brain fried from spending too many hours doing the grunt work of the political process he wants to do nothing but sleep.

Thorin is nothing but understanding and Dwalin is grateful. Even when he decids to opt out of meetings with friends. Thorin doesn't force him to go despite his obvious irritation. Dwalin isn't sure if he'd be able to handle a fight right then.

Only once does Dwalin ask Thorin if he would call his brother to help so Dwalin could take lighter hours...

That evening hadn't ended well.

Overall it isn't that bad. If only he would stop coming home to Thorin and Bilbo.

Looking back, he knows there wasn't anything he could have done-not like he could stop Thorin from having friends-but he wishes he could have seen the signs earlier so it wouldn't have hurt so much.

Once, after the fourth month, Dwalin comes home to see Bilbo and Thorin near (and he knows better now, but at the time he thought "near") cuddling. When Thorin sees him, he immediately pulls away and makes to get up. He had been crying. Dwalin could see it in the red of his eyes.

But Dwalin is too hurt to care.

"Don't mind me," he grumbles, dropping his bad in the hall and shucking off his coat. He is too exhausted for a fight. and he's been taught enough not to make a scene in front of company.

If Thorin says something, Dwalin doesn't hear him.

...

After that things are tense.

Things are really, really tense.

And part of Dwalin, a part large than he anticipated, is ok with that. Je doesn't like people which is why he rarely goes out with friends-though Thorin went often enough for the both of them. And with his hours at the office dealing with inters and volunteers and other employees (and that how he thinks of them truly. He is never one for making friends easily), he has very little patients left. So he is ok with the fact that Thorin has stopped trying to drag him away from his books and go out. It isn't like they don't talk. Rather, Thorin is paying more adherence to his boundaries, which is actually kind of nice.

Of course, Bilbo is still coming around, but Dwalin resolves not to say anything. He tries to be friendly. but most of the time he just ducks out of conversation and goes to their room.

At some point, Bilbo starts to look scared of him.

But there were moments when he felt the tension grow so thick he god scared. When he would climb into bed and feel the sold spot to his left or when he would come home to an empty apartment-once he went to Bilbo's and pressed his ear against the door and tried not to cry when he heard Thorin's voice inside-he would want to break their peace.

But he doesn't know how. And so he let it be: his great mistake.

**A/N: Reviews are always welcomed.**


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